Inspect The Gadgets
THE SUNDAY AGE
Saturday August 20, 1994
THE MOST important drinks gadget has to be the corkscrew. It should be remembered the cork is a relatively new invention that dates back only 300 years.
Before the advent of bunging a cork in a bottle, ground glass stoppers were the vogue.
Ground glass stoppers weren't perfect, in fact more often than not the neck of the bottle had to be broken to get the liquid out.
The stopper would fuse with the bottle, so the invention of the cork was regarded as a giant step for drinking kind.
Using a cylinder of tree bark to seal a bottle was nothing short of a miracle and it brought with it the need for an implement to extract the closure - the job of wine waiter came into being.
Before that drinks gadgets were rare. Things were stirred with sticks, necks of bottles were shattered against the nearest stone wall and muslin was used as a filter to strain out any fragments of glass.
The cork was the emancipation of the bartender, with a tool of trade they became members of a recognisable profession.
So corkscrews became like the perfect mouse trap - there is no such thing but you don't stop trying to invent something better.
The next gadget revolution came in the cocktail era (circa 1910 to 1930). The origin of the word ``cocktail" is obscure. There are several versions but the most charming concerns US Navy officers and an Inca princess with the impossible name X-octl.
She allegedly plied the officers with exotic drinks and other attentions. The closest attempt to the pronunciation of her name was ``cocktail". So her drinks were thus named.
The dawn of the cocktail era saw the barman kitted out with a doctor's bag that would have done TV's cartoon character `Inspector Gadget' proud.
Boston shakers, Hawthorne strainers, jiggers, muddlers and swizzle sticks all became tools of the trade. A cocktail-bar tender became an artisan rather than just a mixer of drinks.
His glassware also became exotic and he had to know the difference between a pouse-cafe and a Collins or an old-fashioned and a Collins.
But there is no doubt that the most important piece of drinks gadgetry remains the corkscrew. You can spend up to $250 for a NASA inspired teflon coated screwpull that works like a charm but needs a science degree to figure out.
You can also spend less than $15 on a humble waiter's friend which is about as close as you can get to the equivalent of a perfect mouse trap.
The latest waiter's friend comes with a foil cutter instead of a knife. With the banning of lead capsules and the introduction of aluminium, the sharp edges on a modern capsule are a thing to be feared. Most wine waiters were sporting Band-Aids until the advent of the foil cutter.
One of the most successful corkscrews is the Ah So which is a two- pronged device that was invented late last century. It was also sub- titled the ``thieving butler" because it allowed the cork to be replaced intact. It was a great gadget for its time because it allowed Jeeves a discreet tipple below decks.
Another gadget that defies its existence is the champagne stopper. Why would you want to stop a bottle of champagne. Is there any going back once you have popped the cork? Obviously there is if the sales of champagne stoppers are a guide, someone out there must have supreme self control.
Many of the drinks gadgets are pure gimmickry - bottle tilters that work on a screw action, silver breathing funnels with microgauze filters et al are there for those who love theatre more than the play.
The brutal truth is you can get a good cocktail from a used peanut butter jar as long as it is clean. You can also extract a cork using a rubber thong. The thong is known as a ``Queensland corkscrew". Once you remove the capsule and if you bang on the bottle long enough, the cork will come out slowly.
Perhaps the most sophisticated gadget comes in the form of the floppy disk which is supposed to run your cellar. Things like Wine Base for Windows has to be the ultimate gadget.
I don't pretend to know, being an exponent of the Queensland corkscrew and being computer dyslexic, I don't want to know...
Isn't it all about inducing a mind altering substance into your person with a minimum of fuss. Drinks gadgets aren't for the serious! Drinks gadgets are a lot of fun but also only things for the idle rich.
© 1994 THE SUNDAY AGE
